I had a listing for a lovely condo – a sure sale, I thought – until I met her pet. He was the cat from Hell. He bit, scratched; he was the meanest cat I had ever been around. I tried to have the homeowner understand that we needed to put the cat in the internal atrium of the condo. It was a beautiful addition to the condo, like a little garden, right in the middle where you could see the sky.

When I showed up the morning of the broker tour, wherein the realtors view new listings, the darned cat was in the middle of the kitchen hissing at me and the owner was nowhere to be found. So I called her on her cell phone and asked her why the cat was not in the atrium. She replied “He wouldn’t go out there; it’s cold”. I thought, “Oh, my God” and I locked it in the garage. I heard the garage door open and I thought , “Oh, my God, the cat learned how to open the door”? But, no, it was the homeowner. She was furious. “I cannot believe”, she said,” you locked him in a dirty, cold garage. She coldly replied, “I am going to report you to the Board of Realtors”.

Just then a car of realtors pulled up and about six realtors came tromping in. This was back when most realtors dressed up: suits, high heels, nylons and the cat performed spectacularly as he attacked the first woman realtor. He shredded her nylons, ripped her skirt and the rest of the realtors backed out and closed the door. The realtor said, as she backed out the door, “I’m going to sue you for the cost of this suit and hosiery”. “Well”, I thought, “get in line”.

The homeowner, however, had a change of tune and responded that she felt badly that I had not done what she asked me to do which was to put the cat in the atrium. She was lying, of course, and, throwing caution to the winds, I said “let me try”. I tried to pick up the cat who scratched me up and down the arm. I dropped the cat and said, “What do you want me to do?”

Luckily, I did not express my true thought and I said, “You’d better rethink if you want to report me to the Board of Realtors because I’m going to report you to….” And there I stopped. To whom would I report her? To the Awful Seller Society? To the Snarky Seller Police? She said, “You’re fired” and I said, “Good”.

I left and had to stop at the realtor office to explain to the realtor who was attacked what really happened. Luckily, the broker at the firm knew me fairly well and he said “Don’t worry, we’ll handle it.” I said, “Thank you” and left. That was the end of that. I have no idea who subsequently listed the condo; it was a man from out of the area. I felt I should warn him but my broker said to leave it alone. Don’t write me; I like cats!!